Patience

I've been staring at this thing for days with both my cell phone and land line by my side. Over the past couple of days I've started to stick to pants that have pockets that I can tuck my cell into or attach the land line to the belt loop. I find its easier to do this since I'd left the land line phone in the fridge once already and dropped the cell into my rose bushes. Ouch.

He's been on his way for many days now and though I could hear in his voice the excitement I could also hear the fear. I just want things to be on point, no more delays and no more cancelling flights. His last message to me was sad. It said

Do you know how they say that you can feel spirits sink when things don't go as planned? I could literally feel the whole room do that when they told us we had yet another 36 hour layover.

I wished I could've hugged him. All I said was well your already here in spirit, it'll be just a little longer until your here physically so just hold on. Poor kid! Well my girl CountryGirl have me some good advice for his visit. Let him decide how things are going to go. And I'm going to do that!
Well I've been tired all day, and its now time for me to go lay down and try to catch a nap. My bro is on his way!

Spring time

I've spent several days outside, pulling weeds, mulching, washing windows. I'm so glad that its finally spring here! It rained alot last week which was good. My lawn is looking greener, the tree's are budding and my rose bushes are perking up. Yay!

In other news Jesse is on his way. I know it'll take a few days and I'm not sure where he is right now. But its pretty exciting! His room is ready and so now we wait. Our little brother went missing a few days ago. I've decided not to tell him about this until he gets here. There's no sense in worrying him because we can't do anything about it anyway. JJ is a teenager and ran away from his school and he's in some trouble now. From what the house mom says he might be turning up here, maybe. So in a way I'm preparing for two brothers to show up here. No biggie.

Well other than that its been quiet. All this fresh air has got me beat! I'm exhausted and want to shower, watch the news and go to bed! I hope your all having some nice weather where ever you are. So for now, I will say good night!

Hey

I forgot my password, its been too long! I've been really busy with life. Lets see..where was I? Babe's party was awesome, she had fun.

Its finally spring here. All of my bulbs are coming up and the trees are coming along nicely too. In about a week my brother should be here. Maybe. It all depends on how smoothly things go on his end. I've got more organizing do before he gets here though. He was supposed to be here later on but his date was pushed up. So its not like I put anything off its just been really hectic!
He tells me that he started smoking so I've got the 3 seasons room set up for him. I need to get his bedroom completely together next. I want to put up some family pictures so its not so plain in there. It'll be nice to have him here where I know he's safe.

Other than that not much else to tell at the moment. I need to get going anyway, I've got to get to the store!

What has everyone been up to???

Attempting to paper mache

So this is the begining of the pinata. It looks kinda like a bowling pin because I'm trying to use two balloons instead of one. I tied the balloons together so when its time to pop em and pull them through it should be easier. Oh man. Anyway, its sitting on the dining room table drying. I've poked at it a few times ( I know I shouldn't of but I couldn't help it) and its going to need at least two more layers. Which means that this will probably be finished right on time.
We got a last minute confirmation tonight too which is ok because that means everyone she invited is coming. I'm glad we stocked up on things. I'm so excited!
Tomorrow we need to get some party plates, napkins and some candy to decorate the cake with and some craft items. Were going to play some games, but I thought it would be nice if they made something to take home with them. The theme is bunnies so I'll look around and see what I can come up with. Anyone have any ideas??
For now, I'm going to start putting the breakable things away and figure out where things are going to be set up. I'm thinking that the earlier I get going on this the less I'll have to do later.
Well, its time to get to bed otherwise I'll be a bear in the morning.

Round house kick to the sinus'

I finally made it to see the doctor this morning. I woke up feeling like my head was going to explode like I got kicked by Chuck Norris! And to top it off I can't speak!(I squeak!) Ok, so my husband says that's the good part..what a smartass! LOL
I've got one of those docs that works part time and most of his patients arrive by medical transport because they're elderly. Though his hours are odd (M-Thursday 8AM-noon) he's still pretty good because he listens and he explains his diagnosis and why he's prescribing something. Let's just say he doesn't have to look at your chart to know who you are and your history. I've never had a doctor that's been this good so that's why I keep going back. Anyway, he gave me an antibiotic so I should be good as new in a few more days. Thank god.

My dad called the other day, we didn't talk for very long because he had company stop over. He sounds like he's doing ok though. Again he mentioned getting the birthday invite in the mail and telling me that he can't be here. I'm wondering if his mind is starting to go? I should ask one of my brothers if they noticed this too. In the mean time I'll start looking into things that might help with memory, or see if that's really possible. I think the reality of my father's aging hit me while sitting in the waiting room at the docs office this morning. A few of the other patients had their adult children there to ask the doctor questions. I wondered to myself how they handled being their parents caregivers. I must admit that seeing them with their children didn't make me sad but made me smile. I thought that it was nice that they had someone they love there to make sure they are taken care of. Maybe taking care of their aging parents is tough but I'm sure their parents liked being with loved ones and not strangers.

It's rainy and cold out today so I'm going to pack some hot tea to take with me to go pick up Babe from school. I like leaving early on days like this otherwise its hard to find a parking spot close to school. So I should get changed and ready to go, I'm tempted to stay in my jammies bottoms but with my luck I would have to get out for some reason. LOL
Take care out there! And take your vitamins!

Hacking my way through life

Tomorrow's her day and she's pretty excited. Not only will she be the birthday treat girl, but she's also looking forward to being 8. She's hasn't asked what privilege she earned with this birthday. Since she's happy with her bed time and knows that she can already use the telephone she doesn't seem to want anything else. Tomorrow night she'll get her favorite meal and some of her presents, she'll get the rest the day of her party.

I still have to work on that pinata! I've had this nasty, icky phlegm stuff to deal with and its not been fun. Instead of getting things finished this weekend I stayed in my room with a vaporizer, cold medicine and some Kleenex. I need to get going on it though, the days are just flying by. Somehow I get the feeling that come Friday I'm going to be still working on things. LOL Oh boy.

Well I'm off to my steam filled room, I feel a coughing fit coming on. Take care out there!

broken

I am just beyond pissed off, I could just scream. What the hell is in the water today?

My teen is acting like a spoiled child right now and its driving me crazy. Ever since she left to go to her dad's its getting to be more apparent that she's getting hateful towards me. When she's here she's fine, but its when its time to call back and forth to see where she wants to be. Or when I text all I'm getting is attitude and shitty answers. Now I know some people are thinking, kids go through this, its no big deal, its a phase. Um, no! I'm not thinking that the manipulation that's going into this on her end is a phase. I'm not thinking that since I refused to fork out some money for a Louis Vuitton bag and grandma did and suddenly I'm shit is a phase. And I'm not thinking that since I shot down her suggestion (demand) that I buy her a 2005 or newer SUV and grandma is and now I'm nothing to her is a phase. And I'm definitely thinking that since I'm not supportive of her hanging out with a friend who just got arrested for smoking weed (in front of a cop) on school grounds and her dad is... and well you can figure out the rest!

I'm angry. All the love in the world is sometimes never enough for someone whose been taught (not on my end) at 15 going on 16 that our love for her is based on how much money we spend on her. And the fact that I'vew become the bank of mom who is supposed to be paying without question is really pissing me off! I know I'm not supposed to be angry about providing for her needs, and its not that. It's that the kid only wants things that will make her stand out at school because she's created this image for herself that requires big tag things that I refuse to buy. I reward her when her grades are good and when she helped out around here. But since she's allowed to run amuck at her dad's without working for it the grass is greener there.
I miss her terribly, I would lay my life down for her without hesitation but I cannot and will not give her money for stupid shit. If that's how she wants to roll then she's going to have to get a job before I just hand her anything. But from the sound of it her dad and grandma are satisfying her need for authentic handbags. So I can't do anything but be angry.
She wants me to pick her back up when I'm taking her shopping.

I feel fucking used.

And I don't even want to get started on how bitchy the leaders were acting at this last meeting. For people Who begged me to stay on this school year to help out they sure are acting shady. My Babe got hurt, I made them step up and handle it, and its not my fault you feel bad about doing your job. So the attitude can stop now. For being a leader Miss E doesn't do shit but eat the kids snack and the other co leader Miss K is just sick of everything riding on her shoulders. Oh I feel K's pain, that's where I was last year and that's why I stepped down. As far as them being shitty, that's on them. I'm not sure why I still have leader duty's with the troop when all I'm supposed to be is just there as a helper for Babe. If babe says she doesn't want to do it anymore than I'm out of there. But due to the fact that Babe got hurt and they can't handle all 21 kids alone then I'm going to be there to make sure she's ok, shit, they asked me to be there. What the heck!

There is definitely something in the water.

I'm easily amused

Party time

I haven't had alot of time to update lately because there's been so much going on. If I wrote about everything I would be adding an entry every hour or so and I really don't have that kind of time!

Anyway the latest request list for Jesse are black fitted sheets, vitamins and I imagine something sweet to snack on. He writes to me about his day to day things and how he wishes he was back already. I know its hard on him being gone and not talking to dad much. Heck, I don't even talk to dad much, so I tell him that things must be fine over there if I'm not hearing anything. He shouldn't be too worried about dad, I wish he would hear me when I try to tell him that. Family life where dad is is so much drama at the moment. My cousin called me to fill me in on things going on over there and its really petty stuff. I'm not involved in anyway and I really didn't care to take sides so no one is calling me right now. Thank god. With all of that happening I just tell him that everyone and everything over there must be fine, because really what good would it do to say anything else?

I've been busy planning Babe's birthday party which will be in a few weeks. She's picked a bunny theme, which is like her special thing because of the bun buns! (We have 5 of them.) I'd found bunny party things online and a bunny cake pan. We'd found loot bags and some goodies to go in them. The invites are out so all we have to do now is wait for the phone to ring. She's pretty excited. :) She's asked for a pee-yah-tuh (pinata) that looks like Mr. Honey Bunny (the little guy sitting next to her). So I will be doing that this weekend. I've never made one before so this should be interesting. LOL I just hope that all her friends can make it so she's not disappointed!!

Anyway the party planning, rounding up a care package and day to day lifes keeping me busy.

My heart walking outside my body

Her hair took a few hours to press so it was nice that there was a CSI marathon on all day. It really made the time fly by while we were doing this!I wish I would've taken the time to get a pic of the back of her head and of the jewels in her hair. I'd pinned the sides down and added those spinning looking hair jewels to the hair, two on each side.
As predicted we did get lots of snow and it was pretty windy as well. So needless to say her hair was sprayed to a crisp before going to dinner. LOL
She didn't tell me much but what she did say was that she had fun, her date was cool, and she liked everything about her dress to her hair. All I know is that as we got her ready, when the hair was done, the make up was on and when she got dressed I couldn't help but to wonder where the time went. She's not my shy little girl anymore who would to ask me to play dress up with her. She's all grown up now and will be leaving the nest in a few more years. I'm glad we get a few more years together, and I'm glad she enjoyed herself.

Journey

The dress is here, and the kid is on her way from an across town sleepover. May the hair gods smile down on us as we begin the journey from limp hair to bouncy curls (with extensions) that can withstand hurricane winds and the snow showers we have this evening.

Comfortable silence

So, its still winter. When I woke up this morning and looked out my window all I could see was what looked like fog at first. When I was able to focus I realized the weather guy was right. We got dumped on.
When I turned on the news I'd seen that the roads sucked which resulted in a few car versus snow plow accidents. So I was happy when my husband woke up and wanted to take Babe to school. I don't mind snow or ice but I was a little bit intimidated when I seen how many people crashed. Yikes!

The phone hasn't rang but a few times today and that's given me a pretty calm day. I didn't hear from anyone telling me about things that I have no control over, nor did I have to be a shoulder to cry on. Don't get me wrong,I don't mind being there when people need me, I just enjoy the silence some day's you know? When everyone's gone for the day I sometimes like to drink my coffee and listen to absolutely nothing. :)

Since it was crappy I spent the day digging out more comfort food recipes. I always like having slow cooked meals when its cold out. My favorites are chili and stews. I hadn't made a pot roast in awhile so I ended up making that with some bow tie pasta and a salad. I'd wanted to make a cake too but I lost all ambition and went with ice cream for dessert instead. Thats ok, I'm really trying to keep my weight down and when I have sweets in the house I tend to woof them down like there's no tomorrow. I know, I'm weak. LOL

I knows its only the middle of the week but it really does feel like Friday. I've got a few more days before things get busy. So I'm just going to enjoy the silence for now.

I'm beat, I think I'm going to call it a night. I hope everyone is doing alright out there.

Tuesday

It's already Tuesday? My week is flying by! I took advantage of winter coats going on clearance and I also got some white shoes today as well. I haven't been buying too much for myself lately so I guess I was long over due. If I had more time I would've got some cute tops too but we had to get back.

The girls and I went out for dinner this evening, its nice just to spend time together. I can focus on them instead of putting together a meal. My oldest has her dance coming up so she's pretty excited about that. And my Babe has a birthday party coming up on Sunday for our old neighbors little girl. You know, for the life of me I cannot remember the girls name! While my husband was on the phone getting the details I wish he would've thought of a way to ask. Like, 'how do you spell her name"? Something so its not so obvious! LOL

I had words with my father yesterday. I know I should respect him, and watch my words. But I just lost it with him. It's been brewing for months, not only has he not come to see me yet but he has n o interest in being supportive of my brother being deployed. I sense that he is still avoiding the visit, the main reason being he would just feel out of place here. I kinda see his point, I only got married and had two kids while I wasn't speaking to ( anyone) in my family. He's missed out on my wedding, my kids being born, my purchase of my first home and mostly me growing as a person. He probably feels bad because I did everything without him. The last time he saw me I was 19 years old and even then I'd never taken a dime from him. I've had absolutely no family support since I was 16 and I think that really freaks him out.

But still! If he wasn't coming then why the hell did he call here and tell my husband that he was coming to meet him (finally) and see the kids(finally)? He didn't have to do all that.

As for my brothers situation he's not happy that he's gone into the military so he won't talk about him. I hate that he's being an ass about that because it really hurts Jesse that he doesn't have his support. What irritates me is how he pushed him into the service and now he can't stand it.
My husband said that my dad needs time and not to ride his ass about it and let it go. I said that I wouldn't get emotional about this but I did, I'm human and its ok. (That's me trying to convince myself that its ok to be mad.) I think my husband's right. No one but my dad knows why he's handling things the way he is and let it be. I said my peace and I now I have to let the anger go.

This week we need to get things ready for the busy work weeks ahead. My husband will go back to working 12 hour days/6 days a week within the next month that's predicted to last until September. I would like him to help me get my daughters bedroom painted and help me move some furniture out of storage. Things get done alot faster when he helps me out. That and I'm not a big fan of painting anymore. After painting 8 rooms in this house I'm REALLY sick of painting! I wish I could change the color of the room with a click of a button, kinda like The Sims. LOL!

Anyway, tomorrow's another day and its going to be an early one, were supposed to get more snow but we'll see what happens. I hope that's wrong because I don't want to shovel anymore.
Have a good night all!

Support our troops Sunday

support our troops

Happy Valentine's Day!

Valentines are people who
Are willing to be flowers,
Letting us enjoy their beauty
Even if for hours.
No Valentine hides from the sun,
Though sometimes lost in light.
If you love them, they just open,
Not unhappy to be woken
Even in the night.

Friday

So I found the soil moist granules (thanks to Country - Girl's suggestion to look at garden supply places) , and I'm about to get started on putting the neck coolers together. I really want to get this done so they can go in the mail soon. I'm not sure how much I should be using, so if anyone out there has made these please give me a heads up. If not one site I found said 2 teaspoons per band.

Anyway, its been a long day. I was up late last night doing things around the house and I was up early this morning. I feel like I've been up for 24 hours.

I got my husband a new big rolling tool box for V Day. He got it early, from his reaction he loved it. Which is cool, its hard to shop for someone who has just about everything. I'm not sure what I want to do tomorrow other than sleep in and maybe get my nails done. I can't focus on anything in particular so I would say I need sleep the most. :)

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day!!

Sweet!

It occurred to me last night that this is the first valentine that's gone out. Last week we got everything ready for Jesse's package to go to Iraq. The only thing missing was something homemade. I'd originally wanted the neck coolers to be completed and added to the box but I still haven't found the moisture pellets needed to get them done. I didn' t want him to be without anything so we sent it out anyway, with this valentine that expressed how much we care. It's the first one I've done that opens up like this. The pattern came from martha.com but instead of blowing it up and adding other crap to it. I just kept it small (did this on pink card stock) and put patterned paper on the front, then added gold eyelets so it could be tied closed with ribbons. Then I stamped his name on the front and a valetine's day greeting inside and we all signed the heart flaps inside. Inside the stamped lettering I added gold ink to the letters only to make them stand out more.
Inside his package I sent some locally made chocolates wrapped in zip lock bags over and over again in case they melt. He doesn't care, chocolate tastes the same melted, hopefully not liquified. I took advantage of doing this now because its not over 100 degrees over there yet. He got Skiiing mags, books, word searches,individual lemonades for water bottles,a hacky sack, Jolly Ranchers candy,some gourmet coffee, I can't remember what else. But he got some double roll toilet paper too. It held everything in place in the box so nothing shifted. Next time its going to be a toiletries package instead of munchies. I'm just glad the kid is staying put for now. I really miss him, he called me last week and it was so good to hear his voice. I was telling him that I hardly ever use my cell phone because his cell number (from when he was still here) is no. 5 on my called list. LOL I know he's trying to stay busy and adjust to his new surroundings. I don't want to make too many refferences to how things were before he left so he's not too home sick. From my understanding were just about the only support system he has right now. I know my dad tries but since he can't deal with him being deployed he's off in his own world. So for now, I will pass messages on between the two of them. And we will continue to be here for Jesse.

In about a week my daughter has her dance. On Sunday we found a beautiful floor length strapless gown in this goldish, orange color with some beautiful beading on it. Because of how it was stored some of the beads are loose. I'm going to fix them and get some spot cleaning done on it as well. As much as we wanted to go out and buy something brand new the resources are not quite there yet, due to having to buy the truck and having to make repairs to my vehicle, money's kinda tight. I'd searched online and found the dress, liked it and liked the price. That's why I was so glad that when she saw it she loved it too, and I was even more happy when she tried it on and it fit perfectly. So far for the dress, the beads and the thread to fix it, its only costed 35 bucks even. Not bad for a dress that was over 200 dollars (Niki Livas) when it was purchased last spring. The girl who sold it to us was just glad to have some more closet space. We were happy to get such a good deal! Now all she needs are some gold shoes and a small clutch to go with it and her outfit will be complete.

Well I should get going on that beading, I'm going to have to get it to the cleaners soon. Take care out there!

Cabin Fever

I've been burning the candle at both ends lately and I wish Friday could hurry up and get here. I've been everything from the maid to the chauffeur to the cook all week. I'm glad to be a mom and wife, I'm not complaining about that. I'm just worn out and could really use a whole day off to do absolutely nothing. I want nothing more than to wake up, drink coffee, eat pancakes in my pajamas and stay in them all day.

I can't wait! Just one more day....

In other news I was so happy to hear from my little brother. He's working some pretty long hours over there and mentioned going in a Chinook when he does leave again. It's his first chopper ride so he's pretty stoked. He's requesting chocolate chip cookies but I can't send them to him yet. *sighs* I have to wait til he gets where he's going I guess. It was also good to hear that he called my dad.

At some point tomorrow I have to get to the post office and mail something off to my cousin. She's been asking me for some of the family recipes and I've been to busy to go all week. Once I got to printing it all up it's more than an envelopes worth of stuff. One of the recipes I'm sending is for wojapi (woah- zaw-pee) its a pudding thats really good with frybread. If anyones interested in making it here's the recipe

WOJAPI (Wo zha pee)
5 lb. bag of frozen berrys (blueberry, raspberry, cherry or a mix)
8 cups of water
2 cups of sugar
cornstarch
To a 5 quart pot (enamel or stainless steel) add all the berries and smash them with a potato masher. (If you are fortunate enough to have a food processor this would work fine also. However, stop just short of puree, you want fine pieces throughout.)

To the smashed berries add the water and sugar. Boil (lightly) this mixture (Approximately 15 to 20 minutes) until everything is cooked. Thicken to desired thickness with cornstarch that has been dissolved in cold water.

Serve warm and eat with Indian Fry Bread. Dip the bread into the Wojapi and eat in this manner.

Traditional Wojapi:

Fruits--Wild Choke Cherry, plum, sand cherry, currant, buffalo berry, or grape. All wild, all found on the Great Plains.

Recipe: Ingredients -- Fruit, Wild Corn Flour, Honey

Mash fruit, boil pulp for about one hour at low heat, strain through a cheese cloth type cloth, (This first cut is used for fine jelly)

Boil again for an hour, remove seeds and half the pulp, add a white sauce of water and flour to boiling fruit and water. Thicken and add honey to taste. (This second cut is wojapi)

Crush seeds and remaining pulp, boil for hour. Strain juice and add thickener, salt and a small amount of wild honey. (this final cut is meat dressing or B-bQ sauce)

And there you have it. Anyway, I'm sending her both of these, her mom didn't pass any of these on to her. She's had wojapi but never made it.

Well ,its late! Wow, where did the time go. I'm out of here! Take care out there people, and if you make this, let me know how it turned out!

Project "Buttercup"

This is the doll that I made for Babe for Christmas. Considering I sketched out my own pattern I think it turned out pretty good! I'd originally planned on making it from various fabrics in coordinating colors but that proved to be harder than it looked and considering the time it would've took. I decided to go with a solid color and make clothes in coordinating fabric instead. You can't tell from the pic but I managed to find a pom pom for the tail from Hobby Lobby's doll making section. I'd found some bubble gum pink floss for the mouth and some old buttons for the eyes. And I couldn't resist using some blush on its cheeks. Looking at it now, it looks like its foot has a chunk missing, I guess I could've went heavier on the stuffing. LOL Oh well, this was so much fun to do!

Anyway, my day will be making clothing patterns for this doll and trying to make dresses for it with Velcro enclosures instead of buttons. Now that I have a minute to breathe since the holidays are over and I don't have anything else going on for a few more days.

I spent the whole day yesterday watching the inauguration and its events afterward. What an exciting time! Looking at that sea of people from my TV was unreal, I wish I could've been there. I have hope that things in this country will get better.

Since talking to my cousin out in NY were starting to think about going out to visit her and the kids. My husband and I haven't been out that way before and it would be nice to see her and see that part of the country. I hate to sound like a tourist but I just want to see the sights, and get an I heart NY t shirt!

Well from the looks outside I should get moving, I might have to leave early to get some errands done.

Time

I love this clock. I'd received a gift card to Hobby Lobby for Christmas and I couldn't wait to use it. I'd originally thought that I would load up on some specialty card stock or some scrapbooking tools but they didn't have any good sales. When I picked up the store flier I'd noticed that clocks were half off and the first thing I thought about was this wall. This clock actually replaced the tiny one that was hard to see from across the room. Not a bad deal, sometimes gift cards are nicer to get!

I'd been here for days now freezing my ass off. And just when I had hope that I would be able to get outside to move snow around. I've been thinking alot about the tons of snow we got and I wanted to get some of it moved towards the back yard. I just wanted to make more rooms for the next couple of months of winter. Oh well, I hear next week's going to be above freezing.

Anyway, its been an interesting week so far. On Monday I got tons of calls from my aunt who was under the influence. I'm just getting to know this lady and she didn't make a very good impression on me. I know the lady has her demons, however I couldn't allow this to happen without saying something. I hope she heard me. I like my peace and quiet, and when people disrupt that then I get annoyed and I voice my opinions without caring. I do want to get to know family but not like this. In time I'm hoping she stops doing this to people. I know I'm never talking to her again. My sleeping patterns have been messed up so, yes, I'm still annoyed with her.

My little brother has gotten to his destination and is trying to get settled in. He sounds like he's in good spirits though. I passed his message on to my father who was relieved that he's contacted someone.

I keep losing my train of thought. I'm just so damned tired!

I know that JS is back and I want to wander over again to see whats going on. I checked it out after it had been up a few hours. I'm not sure if I'm going back or not. I just got the hang of this and I don't know if I'll have the time to post in both. I guess if I did go back I would just want to copy and paste. How many of you went back over there? What do you think of it so far? If you go back do you think you'll keep both journals?